Hey Mama Hey! I am warning you now. This is a emo post. I am in my feelings and I am writing because I know some Mamas have to be feeling the same way. I am just going to say it.
I am having a hard time loving my post baby body but I am on a mission to fall back in love with my body. I am a complete supporter of body positivity. When I am alone face to face in the mirror it is not as easy to overlook my changing body and scream “Go Girl!”
The motivation for this post was another weekend spent with family. I can’t be around more than 3 of my family members and someone ask if I am pregnant. Going as far as touching my stomach. I hate this. Like really hate it. It drives me nuts and makes me feel terrible each time.
That sounds intense but it’s true.
Let’s go back to 2015, before I became a Mama. Going into my pregnancy I felt good about my body. I didn’t compare myself to my college body…I was 35 and I felt I looked damn good!
Then I got pregnant. I felt AMAZING. The moment I announced my pregnancy, I felt a huge relief of not being having to hold my stomach in for pics. My stomach was beautiful and round, my little boobs I had my entire life started to fill out. I felt confident and sexy!
In my last trimester people, strangers, men, women, all unsolicited started to talk to me about the “SnapBack”. Who TF started this term! I was told that I would SnapBack quickly, like it was a compliment. I felt no pressure at home because my husband is amazing. This is not an exaggeration. Someone has brainwashed my husband and he literally thinks he is married to a model.
I remember one day about a week postpartum, Q was sleep and I was trying to help with laundry. My husband caught a glimpse of me and said “Oooh girl I see you. You looking too fine”. It was my first day in real underwear, not the hospital panties and I was really proud of myself. My husband made me feel like a Victoria Secret model. But when I looked in the mirror I still saw a body that looked 4 months pregnant. I had the baby already, why did I look like this? I smh and walked away. I am adding this is to tell you that even with a supporting husband THIS IS HARD.
ObieQ is 2yo this week and my body, specifically my stomach is nothing like it was pre-baby. I once walked past a mirror and thought it must be a trick mirror because there was no way my ass looks like that in real life. *Spoiler Alert: it was a normal mirror*
It’s two years after having my son and I am ready. I am ready to fall back in love with my body. This new body. This post baby body.
Let’s just make it plain.
There are things I love about my body:
How strong I feel. I can carry a 25lb child, 5 Target bags and an iced coffee into the house and not break a sweat. My body is capable of crazy things and I know it! I gave birth to a human, have sustained him and his growth through breastfeeding. My body has been so good to me. For that I am grateful. I also have really good legs. Even when I am lacking with the regular shaving, they look damn good. Shout out to my legs
There are things I am just OVER!
My stomach. This pooch is driving me nuts. I am self conscious of wearing clothing too form fitting because of the extra weight around my stomach. My boobs. These girls are tired. They have put in work. Breastfeeding for 24 months has taken it’s toll. They are flat. They are tired. I’m tired. Lack of exercise. Crazy sleep patterns. Eating scraps from a toddler plate. These have taken their toll. Add starting a business! I am tired ALL the time.
There is no “perfect ending” to this post. I ain’t got the answers Sway. I am at a transitional stage. My son turns 2 this week. We are discussing (just discussing at this point) having more children in the future. I turn 40 in a couple of years. I want to take these next steps with my head held high. A part of this is being confident in my body.
So today I am making the decision to take a stance. I am going to fall back in love with my body. I’m going to start with 4 steps. Just 4. Not 5. I am going to focus on consistency. Here is my list:
- Be my own cheerleader! I gotta stop the negative trash talking. I am going to start my day with affirmations. You Da BOMB Jenny! (I am sure there are some more deep ones I can find on IG, but I am just going to start here!)
- Moving my body. Finding my way back to my yoga mat for my own personal mediation and gratitude practice. Also I pay a gym membership every month…maybe I will actually go and check out a class. Anyone in Chicago wanna meet for a step aerobics class?!?
- Eating Breakfast and drinking water. These are two things that I make sure my son does but I lack on it for myself. Easy breakfast and 6 bottles of water. Small changes. Big differences
- Say Thank You. Whenever I receive a compliment I am going to say “Thank You”. This is a major switch up from my “Oh girl, do you know this was my 4th outfit I tried on and I only have on a dress because I can’t fit any of my jeans.”
I will report back and let you know how it goes. Now it’s your turn…We are here to help each other. How are you feeling in your post baby body? How can we support each other? Mama to Mama let’s have each other’s back!
Lord have mercy. This is RIGHT on time. You wrote this for me. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this. I sat on this post for 5 hours hesitant to post. Thank you
Amen and amen! Thank you for your courage in posting this. It’s hard enough to have these feelings, but to share them with the world can leave you feeling vulnerable. You are not alone! This is the part of motherhood people don’t talk about and it’s not in any of the preparing for birth/motherhood classes. With so much attention being paid to women who “snap back” celebrity or otherwise it’s important for us to talk about our bodies post baby. I’m with you! I am focusing on drinking more water and eating in a way that makes me feel good (not just what tastes good). I am comitting to finding fun ways to move my body. I am practicing gratitude for all that my body is and does (not just focusing on what it isn’t). I am looking for affordable, cute clothes I’m excited about that fit and enhance my shape exactly the way it is right now. 😉
Thank You for this comment! I sat on this post for 5hrs. Hesitant to post. Thank you for sharing with me
Facts Facts Facts!!!! I am sooo guilty of #4. It’s hard not compare your current self to your old self. I do this often and made a decision just to be the best Tiffany I can be. I try to be active but I’m not beating myself up for having dessert…. life is about balance right 🤷🏽♀️
Right! Balance. Saying Thank You with out the added self deprecating is going to be a game changer for us. Thank you for sharing
Thank you! This is amazing and so on time for me. ❤️ Breakfast & water; and just saying Thank you.
Girl. This is a GREAT place to start. Thank you for commenting and joining me in these steps
I keenly felt the juxtaposition of loving and accepting your body during pregnancy and then loathing that stomach pouch postpartum. clothes feel different on this body and that’s something totally new for me. I just had this conversation with someone about how i was going to get back to loving me. here’s to the journey!
Thank you for reading and YES I felt the same way. It feels all new, foreign. Cheers to our journey
Absolutely as an avid workout person this has been a challenge for me. If you want to work out let me know, I could always use a workout buddy
You got this cuz, and we have all been there! Great post and it’s one step at a time…. Proud of you!
Absolute facts!!!!! How do I subscribe to keep up with your progress!
Where the yoga class cuz i need to go!! Im feeling all of this!
I would love a work out buddy @yanaaminaw
Hey girl! Thank you so much for sharing. Any chance you’re a member at XSport? I desperately need to get back there.
You’re not alone! It’s hard to see a different version of you that you are proud of and simultaneously loathe. Great steps! I’m on the road with you girl!
I definitely needed this. I have been feeling some type of way about this post baby body. 3rd pregnancy, and I just delivered my 1st live child(to GO be the Glory)!!!! However, now my body is all out of wack. I need to make that first step.