Let me set the scene: It’s Monday morning. The sun is shining. It’s a warm 35 degrees here in Chicago. I am feeling like a winner. ObieQ and I are at school on time. He looks handsome and we managed to get out the house without one meltdown. We literally skip into the building. Today is a good day.
I see a few teachers as soon as I walk in. They look festive and there is something I can’t quite put my finger on. I just chalk it up to me still having on my sunglasses trying to camouflage being a hot mess. Dropoff is another prime opportunity for a meltdown so I’m trying to get and get out without drama.
As we walk towards Q’s classroom I notice that everyone has on ugly Christmas sweaters. It hits me that it’s their spirit week. Every day has a theme. They sent home a reminder. That reminder is on my refrigerator so I could see it everyday….and I still forgot. Q takes off his coat and has on the most NON Christmas sweatshirt you could imagine.
This is my lane. I should have been on top of this. I LOVE a theme. How did I miss this?
*Cue Law & Order music*
In the case of Mama Fresh vs Motherhood you are found GUILTY.
It hits me: Mom Guilt.
This shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but the way my anxiety is set up! I instantly started to think about all of the other things I am juggling and even the things that are slipping through the cracks.
This feeling is not new to me:
When I was a new Mama and working outside of the home I traveled a lot for work. I would cry in the Uber, leaving my 2 month baby behind. Mom Guilt.
As I have chosen to stay home and launch my own business we have made a lot of sacrifices. Including the salary I was bringing home. Money that we could use to vacation, move to a home with more room etc…Is that the right choice? Mom Guilt.
My child is currently protesting food he thinks is “yucky.” So I fed him chicken nuggets and grapes for 3 nights in a row. I was at my wits end–I just needed him to eat something. Mom Guilt.
Y’all I can’t do it all. I also don’t want to exhaust myself trying. So what do I do when these moments hit. When I feel like “Damn I can’t get anything right.” I stop. Literally stop in my tracks and take a deep breath. Then I tell myself the same thing I told ObieQ’s teacher today: I am doing the best that I can…and that is enough.
Awesome! And you are doing your best!
I needed this. Yes, we are doing the best we can.
My daughter was the only one within red shirt for her Christmas concert last year. I felt bad, but it happens. This year I have the red shirt, reminders on my refrigerator & phone. Lord help me lol
Our best is all we can do!
For this years spirit week I saw the memo. We were very busy with life the week before. I told the kids we aren’t participating this time. The oldest really didn’t protest. The youngest didn’t care. That weight lifted so fast. Went in about my business and they put those uniforms on. We opted out. It worked this time. Next time who knows. Hopefully we will have the time and mental capacity to remember to pick up crazy socks or sports jerseys. Couldn’t do it this year. Hopefully It won’t cause futurepsychological trauma. Lol!